Subtle but Palpable
by finallyishallwrite
Summary: A exploration of the subtle but palpable chemistry between Willow and Tara. Realizing how drawn I was to their sweet simplicity and undeniable passion inspired me to recognize that I, as a woman had always wanted to date women. Ultimately, this couple is the reason why I had the courage to meet the my best friend and soulmate, Alisha who is the reason I'm writing this now.


As Tara and Willow stepped finally out of the laundry room, they almost slipped on the nasty green and white sludge pouring from the necks of bodies clad in tuxedos. Based on the bodies' beyond-albino hands and fancy dress, the girls knew they were safe. Willow knew she had been right, Buffy had screamed and blown up the Gentlemen. Instinctively reaching out for Tara's hand, Willow led the blonde safely over the mess and down the hall. Willow suddenly felt a deep desire to keep the girl safe and almost invited her over for the night, but she knew they didn't know each other well enough for sleepovers and she didn't want to come on too strong, so she broke the silence that had fallen without the Gentleman with a question.

"Umm...Tara?" Willow began, unsure how to proceed with her question. Tara jolted from her thoughts and looked back at Willow, trying to hide her bewilderment. Willow knew her name? She had to have remembered it from Wicca group. The thought was pleasant to Tara, Willow had to have been staring at Tara in the laundry room, trying to place her face, and she had remembered. Tara wasn't all that used to being remembered. It was a really great feeling! "Um... do you live... close?" Willow continued, really hoping she wasn't creeping her new friend out.

"Oh..." Tara responded. "Umm... no I'm in another building. Evanston." Willow was shocked, that was quite a distance in the darkness and with the Gentlemen. But without the Gentlemen, Willow was happy to accompany Tara to her dorm. It would come off a lot less intense if she just said goodnight instead of suggesting a way-too-early-in-the-friendship sleepover.

Willow brushed her hand against Tara's in reassurance, the action sending shivers up both of their spines, a feeling a warmth and safety settling in their chests. "I'd be happy to walk with you." Willow stated invitingly.

Tara felt her breath catch at the invitation. She loved the idea of Willow walking with her anywhere. And to her room... Willow would know where she lived, they would be really starting to be friends. Tara could only nod and she brushed her hand back against Willows. They did this for the whole walk, talking very seldomly and only about classes and how cool it was to do magic together, all the while letting their hands brush against each other. Neither girl had the courage to grasp the other girl's hand, it just didn't seem right with the trauma being over. But both girls were so very content to just touch every now and again, that sensation that sparked in them reminding them of the reality of their new world. They had each other now. They couldn't figure out if the spark was magic or just their strong connection. And neither of them could wait to find out.

As they neared Tara's door, Willow did reach for Tara's hand, only to squeeze it gently and then let go. Willow stared into Tara's eyes, wanting to memorize her every feature. Smiling sweetly as she gazed at her new friend. "Well... goodnight... I... ummm had a lot of fun." Willow said "I mean... besides the whole running from demons thing." Tara nodded and smiled back. Her smile was the cutest mix between a shy grin and a smirk. Willow could sense that there was way more to this girl than she showed the world. She couldn't wait to get to know her better. She squeezed Tara's hand one more time and started to walk away.

"W-w-willow..." Tara called out as her friend walked away. "Ummm...we sh-should h-hang out. I umm want to t-try some spells s-sometime." Tara had never asked anybody to hang out with her. Not with her dad and brother's attitude about company or her innate shyness. But Willow brought something out of her. Tara knew that she just had to get to know this girl. The way she smiled, the way she talked, the way she touched, she was just so... beautiful. Tara knew that she had always been attracted to girls, never once had she had a crush on a guy. So she knew what was happening. She knew that she was attracted to Willow in more ways than one. But she was also just so excited with this new idea of a friend in her life that she knew she would be content if Willow was just her friend, forever.

Willow's heart melted at Tara's tentative invitation. Her stutter was adorable and made Willow giggle internally, delighted to have this new girl in her life. "Absolutely!" Willow said when her breath returned to her and her heart started up again, beating fairly erratically. "I have time between classes tomorrow. Let's meet at the fountain at 1:00 and then just walk around a bit. We'll get to the spells soon." Willow knew that they had their whole lives to do spells. And she really wanted to do spells. But, already, this shy blonde was more than just a friend to do witchy things with. She was Tara. And Willow wanted to know Tara everyday for the rest of her life. Tara nodded and smiled at the plan Willow had suggested.

"S-see y-you tomorrow." Tara whispered, overjoyed that the redhead had taken over the planning. It just made Tara feel so instantly important to Willow... at least on some level.

"Tomorrow." Willow whispered back, squeezing Tara's hand one last time before heading back to her own dorm, thoughts of the blonde settling themselves comfortably in her mind as she drifted off to sleep.

 _The Gentlemen were chasing Willow down the hallways of the school. Tara's arm encircled Willow's waist as they ran together to the laundry room. Their hands touched, their minds melded and they moved the vending machine with the power between them both. Willow took in Tara's beauty seeing into her eyes, scared but still surprisingly confident pools of blue set atop her perfect nose, her adorable quirky smile. And, Willow caressed Tara's hand, hoping to convey her thanks for the magical assist and to question the blonde. Had she felt the power surge too? Had Willow imagined the connection? As if in answer to Willow's question, Tara's hand squeezed and began to caress Willow's hand back. They gently ran their fingers over each others' arms, up the shoulders and to faces. Willow took Tara's angelic face in her hands and pressed her lips to hers, her lips tingling strongly at the sensation. Everything felt right about kissing Tara, like this was absolutely all Willow wanted to do for the rest of her life. Tara returned the kiss shyly, seemingly startled by Willow's affection. She tried to hold back her passion for Willow by placing feather-light kisses on her lips. Willow loved the feeling, it was like a fairy or a gentle goddess was sweetly tasting her lips, trying not to indulge too much in the flavor. Tara pulled away from Willow slowly and their eyes came to rest on each other once more. As blue eyes met green, they went in to kiss each other again._

Willow awoke suddenly, her heart pounding, and her mind racing as she analyzed her dream. Tara was so beautiful, so sweet and shy and wonderful, but did Willow really want to kiss her? Willow thought of Tara's lips as they turned into the smallest half-smile, half-smirk and she realized she definitely wanted to. Maybe not now, maybe not even soon. But she was surprised that she hadn't pulled her into an embrace and kissed her right in the laundry room or at Tara's door. Her lips with their shy expressiveness were enchanting, and oh so kissable. But Willow tried to fight the thoughts. Tara was a friend, a new friend in her life, she wasn't anything else. Couldn't be. What would Tara think about Willow having all these thoughts of kissing her? Willow blushed at the thought. She quieted her heart down, slowed her breathing and returned to sleep.

The next morning, Willow couldn't wait to see Tara. It was only 8:00am, and she had classes. She was grateful that classes would take the time away from her being Tara-less. Laughing to herself at how excited she was to see her new friend, Willow swiftly got dressed and headed out to class.

Tara dreamt of Willow, just the idea of Willow being in her world. At home when her dad and brother were pulling out their belts to beat her, Willow tended to her wounds. In the hospital, as Tara's mother lay dying, Willow was her shoulder to cry on. When Tara had first moved to Sunnydale, having no friends, no connections, Willow held her hand and urged her forward, knowing that soon the two witches would meet. Willow was there for all of Tara's moments. When Tara awoke, she had tears in her eyes, of pure happiness. She had never felt such a connection with someone. The night before, she had told herself that she would only be friends with Willow forever if she had to, but after the dream, it felt like they were soulmates. As if they could never be torn apart, because their love would keep them strong. Tara rolled out of bed to face the day, the first day of getting to know Willow.

They met by the fountain as Willow had suggested. Willow's breath caught in her chest as she caught sight of her new friend. Tara had been lovely in the muted light of the laundry room. But now, in the brilliant sunlight, Tara was downright ethereal. She looked like a goddess, shyly smiling in Willow's direction. The breath returned to Willow as she let out a contented "Hi." a smile spreading serenely over her face. She couldn't believe how safe she instantaneously felt with this girl.

Tara's tiny half-smile broadened as Willow approached. Looking at Willow was entrancing Tara, her autumn hair like a hypnotic fire, her eyes like deep jade stared back at her, her lips smiled sweetly. "H-hi." Tara spoke softly. The girls stood there, eyes hooked to each other, not saying any words, both girls afraid their own babbling or stuttering might ruin the moment. Slowly they came out of their trances and began their time together, giggling as they both darted their eyes to the ground back up, embarrassed by how long they had been staring.

Willow was first to break the silence. She spoke softly "It's really great that this is finally happening... I mean I don't mean 'finally'... we umm only met yesterday didn't we." She laughed a bit at that. Tara gave her a soft smile and Willow continued, "but... like... it feels like longer than yesterday. I was just so amazed by... um... how much power we had together." Willow of course knew that for her, it was more than just about the power, and as she gazed upon Tara, she found her eyes resting on her lips. Her lips were full with the slightest shine from her subtle lip gloss. Willow remembered her dream and she wondered what it would feel like to kiss Tara for real, to feel her lips pressed against the beautiful blonde's. Willow almost fell into a fantasy, but she realized that the real thing was right in front of her, and while maybe it wasn't a good time to kiss her, Willow knew she really wanted to get to know this girl.

Tara had remained entirely quiet while Willow babbled. She just looked at her, getting lost in her emerald eyes. Tara followed their gaze and a blush spread over her face immediately. Was Willow looking... at her lips? Tara drifted her eyes to the ground and pushed the thought away. She had determined to be Willow's friend, she needed to know her before anything could happen between them. Suddenly, she realized all she knew about the beautiful redhead gazing at her with what might've been desire was that she liked magic. Tara wanted to know more. So much more. And maybe, she thought to herself, maybe with more would come Willow's feelings. Then maybe Tara could know why Willow would ever be looking at her lips. Tara had her hopes. But she wasn't ready to share them. So she put on a resolve face and slowly lifted her head to look at Willow more clearly.

"W-w-willow." Tara stuttered, still nervous. She could feel the heat in Willow's gaze blazing in her lips. "L-let's walk around some... may-maybe we can go s-sit in the student l-lounge."


End file.
